


Keyframe 46

by hobsta



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Grinding, M/M, Oral, and mark too, crying while fucking, does mark love lucas?, handjob, i was sad ig, im not sure, like grinding lol, lucas is painfully in love, lucas just wants to love mark freely, mark is afraid of coming out, physical and mental strain is on lucas, stomach fucking, uhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 13:11:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22849465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hobsta/pseuds/hobsta
Summary: mark and lucas begin to hook up, but at the cost of lucas’ pain
Relationships: lumark - Relationship, markhei - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 58





	Keyframe 46

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a blurb so it’s not heavily proofread!! i’m not too good w angst and i knew i’d kill the initial vibe i’d given out 
> 
> if u wanna listen to the canon soundtrack, it’s a different state of mind by kid bloom, tinder song by victor internet, and trouble by coldplay ^^

the first time mark turned lucas down; lucas completely understood. they were tucked away in a hotel room, alone and left to their own actions, which had the both nearly choking with the tension. months of buildup crashed down upon them, and they desperately kissed, the pressure of each other was just too strong. that night, lucas held mark closely, his skin hot and prickly with arousal, and he felt like the luckiest man in the world. when he reached down to try and open up mark, he’d sat up, gripping lucas’ wrist, and he forcefully smiled as he shook his head. lucas understood, and he brought mark and himself to their relief, lovingly stroking up and down his cock, as he drank in mark’s moans, basked in his whines and sighs, leaving him nearly dizzy. that night, he felt the heartbeat of mark’s against his own, his soft stomach and thighs warming lucas, and the smell of his shampoo carried lucas into one of the most serene sleep he’s ever had. 

the second time mark turned lucas down, he still understood. they were in their dorms, muffled groans and sighs floated in their space, masked by the music their roommates were conveniently listening to. hand cupping the back of his neck, lucas kissed mark deeply, loud breaths leaving through his nose as he found it nearly impossible to get away from him. the expression of love through desperate kisses only went so far, and once again, as lucas palmed mark’s soft ass, mark pulled away from him. “no.” he’d whispered, and lucas understood, holding mark closely and kissing his nose in apology. mark didn’t look at him in the eye for the rest of the night, and lucas willfully ignored that, unable to confront him. the next day, when lucas reached to grab mark’s hand, something that he did now for subtle affection, mark slipped his hand away and looked around to the others, nerve in his eyes as he sought for anyone who might have seen. lucas tucked his hands to his chest, pressing his lips as the rejection settled within his heart. 

the third, fourth, fifth and so on times carried on, each time ending the same, with mark getting more forceful each time. hints of annoyance flitted through his eyes, his voice sharp as he told lucas to cut it out, and lucas would. he’d stop, always giving mark a kiss on his nose in apology, yet his desperation grew in tenfold to the point where he thought he’d go mad. his heart and hand grew heavy with guilt as he’d jerk off every night, going nearly mad as he fantasized about finally fucking mark. vivid images flashed into his mind, making his hips jerk to the point he was fucking his own hand. mark was always below him, his eyes fogged in pleasure, his cute little mouth parted as small, constant moans left him. pale skin adorned with splotches of heat and lucas’ lips, his hands and stomach quivered as lucas fucked in, the sounds of their skin together- and lucas had come. he panted, staring up into the darkness of his room, disgust in his belly and guilt on his mind. he’d wipe himself down, pull his boxers up, and settle into a dreamless sleep. 

every morning, he’d wake up and stare at the same ceiling, his bed and heart empty. he struggled to get out of bed now, unable to find any motivation, every day dragged on until night. nights were when mark opened up to him, showed him the vulnerability that he was so scared to show, and lucas wished nothing more than for this to end. mark always woke up before him, and when lucas would walk in, a false smile as he greeted everyone, he’d become quiet, his aura cold and withdrawn. it was impossible to ignore his change, but lucas would simply swallow down the knot in his throat, forcing himself to just not look at mark, the hurt exhausting him. 

subtle touches, touches which used to make their stomachs flutter, like when mark would shyly grab onto lucas’ thumb, or when lucas would wrap his arm around mark’s shoulders, became rougher, underlined with aggression. mark would dig his nails into the skin of lucas’ arms, pressing his fingers roughly into the sensitive skin of his cheek, and lucas would smile, covering up his pain. likewise, he’d grab onto mark rougher, nearly desperate to keep mark within his reach, to feel the comfort of the boy he painfully loved. whenever mark would walk away from him, lucas would stare at his back, the lean and soft expanse made lucas vacant, an empty look in his eyes, tired beyond belief. 

it was night, soft music played through lucas’ speakers, the background noise keeping lucas from going into dark thoughts. leg bouncing, his arms wrapped around him, he stared blankly across his room, his mind empty. a small knock cracked through the peace, a knock that lucas knew too well already. not bothering to answer, he kept quiet, and the click of his door finally brought him out of his head. mark stood there, his frame small and vulnerable, and every single damn time, lucas just couldn’t turn him away. the familiar weight and warmth of mark was ingrained into lucas’ skin, his lips and tongue welcome guests, his breathy moans and long whines were now quintessential to lucas. tiredly smiling, he watched mark walk closer, who already removing his shirt, and let mark pull him into a fervent kiss. every time, mark’s lips still took his breath away, the softness and affection dragging lucas back into his need for mark. pulling mark down onto his lap, he traced his hands down mark’s slender waist, his belly shivering through the faint tickling sensation. 

every night, lucas would drink in mark’s body, the skin and warmth which was denied of him through the day, no matter how tightly he held on, would come back during the night, before the eyes of no one. mark pulled his fingers through lucas’ hair, his lips on the skin of his neck, the unforgiving, absolutely torturous weight of his hips grinding down against lucas. 

carefully laying mark down, lucas settled into his neck, breathing in his scent, comforting himself as he played with the lobes of mark’s ears. mark pawed at lucas’ boxers, pulling them down, and lucas would swallow down his frustration, leaning back to pull his cock out. he watched as mark sat up, his lip caught between his teeth as he stared down lucas’ cock in want, his eyes fogged in arousal. smiling as sincerely as he could, lucas cupped mark’s chin, running his thumb across the expanse of his soft cheek, before bringing him closer to his cock. 

no matter how many times, lucas’ body would still erupt in pleasure, his hand clammy as he grabbed onto mark’s hair for balance, his body doubling over as he bit his lips to keep himself from loudly crying out. softly licking and pressing his tongue across the head of lucas’ cock, mark basked in the familiar taste, the hard and heavy weight pressing firmly into the palm of his hand, soft pops and slurps of his mouth making him keen. at the familiar flutter of finishing, lucas pushed mark back onto the bed, his hands nervously running through his hair. below him lay mark, his soft hair and bruised lips a mess, his body open and inviting. 

“liar.” lucas thought, forlorn as he knew what was to come. hesitantly, he reached toward mark’s boxers, not failing to notice the flash of annoyance in mark’s eyes. 

“why,” he whispered, “why won’t you let me?” he asked, hearing the desperation in his voice which disgusted him, and he pulled mark’s boxers down lower. not receiving an answer, his eyes clouded in tears. 

“i know.” he spat out, “you don’t have to fucking tell me.” he shakily breathed, and as he reached to jerk mark off, a flash of anger struck through him. lucas spat onto his hand, smearing the saliva onto mark’s stomach, who grunted in surprise. lying up on his elbows, he gripped onto lucas’ wrist painfully tight, yet lucas paid no mind. leaning down, lucas pushed up against the soft skin of mark’s stomach and cock. mark gasped, his stomach sinking in at the odd sensation, yet lucas tilted lower and pressed in, his pace going faster and he growled in frustration at the limited pleasure, his hips overtook, the instinct of fucking in overtaking him as he accustomed to a pace. desperate for more, he pressed his still slick hand against his cock, running up and down the expanse of both of their cocks, the increased friction making them both sigh. 

tears began to drip down onto mark’s stomach, as lucas watched the pitiful sight, his hips frenzied for relief, desperate for any form of alleviation. for anything. below him, mark watched on as lucas shuddered in back his sobs, shiny trails of his tears highlighted in the dim lighting, his puffy lips between his teeth, and felt immense pity for the other boy. 

“i’m sorry.” lucas shuddered out, hiccups leaving him through his moans, wiping at his face with his other hand, the light capturing his tear highlighted eyes, which closed as he neared his orgasm. he wanted to finish, wanted mark to finish so he would leave his room, just like every other night, leaving him to his own thoughts and feelings. his hips now slapping against mark’s own at an unrelenting pace, he tried to jerk off mark with his other hand, soft sniffles leaving him. the both were quiet now, their pleasure failing to cut through the thick fog of emotions that they felt at that moment.

a loud shudder left mark, and he realized he’d come, soft moans leaving him, and he looked down, seeing the skin of his stomach slick and red from the friction of lucas’ desperation. he was speechless, his head swirling with incomprehensible thoughts and feelings, stunned into silence. above him, lucas hunched over as he neared, his head tilting back, eyes squinted as he finally came. lucas cupped his hand over the head, not allowing it to paint mark’s chest, which mark knew lucas usually loved to see, a soft pang of disappointment ringing in his chest. uneasiness settled upon the both, the tense air leaving the both of them still for a long time. finally, lucas pulled up mark’s boxers, and wiped down his stomach with an extra shirt, before pulling mark up to sit. he handed mark his shirt, refusing to look at the other. slowly putting on his shirt, mark pressed his lips together in thought, sympathy for the other boy building in his chest. 

“i’m just not ready.” he muttered, “it’s a big step, i don’t know what the other’s would think. what i would think.” he trailed off, picking at the skin on his fingers. beside him, lucas pulled up his own boxers, still sniffling quietly. 

“i know.” he replied, wiping away the stray tears that still left him, “i have a schedule tomorrow.” he added, and mark got the hint. slowly getting up, he walked towards the door, his mind heavy and confused. usually he’d leave content, his mind and stress cleared from the orgasm lucas would give him, and now he felt, for the first time, completely drained. 

“i’m...” he trailed off, his hand on the doorknob, unwilling to turn around and face lucas, yet still the awful feeling of guilt had him unsure what to do. 

“it’s ok. i understand.” lucas softly replied to him, and mark left quickly, his heart churning in guilt, frowning as he clicked the door shut behind him. 

the forty sixth time mark turned lucas down, lucas understood too well.

**Author's Note:**

> idk why i wrote this i suppose coldplay just gives you the motivation for the oddest things huh? i’ll try to get better at angst!!


End file.
